Posted on 14 Jun 2021 Views 1161 Comments 13
Families are great. They give you the feeling of security, knowing that you have someone who cares for you. Someone you can count on and who never let you down and are always there for you. Except when they aren`t on your side when it comes to losing weight.
Ideally, our families should be our biggest supporters, helping us make the right choices and encouraging us to keep on track, but in the real world we know that sometimes this isn’t always the case. I know from personal experience how difficult it can be in this situation and I will hopefully be able to share some tips that will make dealing with family members a little easier whilst on the plan.
We don’t often speak about family support when dieting as we assume it is a given that they do support us 100%, especially when it is to improve our health and wellbeing, and in most instances this is true. However, the sad truth is that there are situations when your family isn’t always your best support system and, in some cases, may unintentionally jeopardise your success.
My husband wanted to lose weight and he set his goal at 100lbs. After many years of gaining weight, he decided to go for it, fully supported by myself and our families. After all, I was the one who helped get him there! Was I the said enabler?
When the first instance reared its ugly head, we were both dumbstruck, this is what happened.
“What are you doing to him Jo, he looks ill! Are you starving him?” He had lost just under two stone at this point and had a further five stone to go, he was given a big slice of chocolate cake to beef him back up! There was a lot of eye-rolling and a “Wow thanks for noticing and I`m not being starved!”
After a few more weeks we all went out for a family meal and I’m pleased to say my husband was making all good choices when ordering his meal. He was taking heed of my eating out tips ;) Order first so you are less likely to be tempted to order what everyone else is ordering. And let`s talk about everyone else, who decided that there needed to be extra sides for him as they know how much he loves those garlic mushrooms and those big chunky homemade fries. We can all share, they said! Rather than causing an issue we let them get on with it and the meals arrived with all of the sides. We finished the meal, but the sides weren’t touched, and to be honest, nobody noticed he hadn’t been picking at them throughout the meal. They only realised at the end of the meal when there was some left. “Oh! You are not leaving all that food, are you?”
Then the good intentions came, - you know the ones!
He did brilliantly and I was so proud as I know how hard it was for him. He stuck firm with what he was going to have and wasn’t swayed. I know how difficult it was, because as a family, a lot of our gatherings are consumed by food, vast amounts of food, even popping in for a cuppa entails the biscuit tin being brought out and a large slice of cake.
We did have many chats about how he would deal with these instances where it would be turned around to make him feel guilty for not wanting to eat some foods. Just because he was on a diet we didn’t feel that as such we should be excluded from family meals and eating out. It wasn’t an easy ride as we did have to keep reiterating that certain foods were not an option for him as he was making healthier food choices, (which sounded better than I`m dieting) but we got there in the end. Plus over time we noticed little changes in what the family were eating too.
Be confident when you say no and refuse food, the longer you linger in saying no, the more likely they are to keep pushing food at you. They will push you again, stay strong!
Don`t feel guilty about saying no, why should you feel guilty for wanting to improve your health?
As he has a wicked sense of humour, he did use this one quite frequently:
I`m allergic and I will break out in Fat!
Food enablers are usually coming from a place of love, they aren’t trying to sabotage you, they just want to please and make you happy. Be confident and strong in your conviction, after all, if you had given up smoking people wouldn’t be offering you a cigarette!
What challenges have you encountered when socialising with family and friends and how did you deal with them? Share your comments below to be in with a chance of winning £10 in points! Our favourite three comments will be chosen on Friday 18th June 2021 at 4 pm!
By Joanne Jones, Customer Care Advisor
It's good to be slim
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